Reminds me approach that you get in nearly every book on "How to meet girls".
Systematic, efficient.
Played this game myself. And I did it when moved to the US with a limited English and lack of understanding of the local culture and traditions.
After a few years of dedicated practice, moved me from the state that author describes to the complete lack of fear talking to strangers, I can easily make nearly ever conversation warmer, deeper and more relaxed.
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A couple more comments, based on personal experience:
[1] It works better if place where you meet is your deep comfort zone, a very familiar place
- gym, if you are going there for some time, know where each type of equipment is.
- dance venue that you were going dancing for a while
- art class
- etc
[2] It helps a lot if you are quite proficient in the activity, expertise brings respect, and higher social status by itself, even when you do not talk to anyone.
[a] in the gym ideal technique > strength > looks / size of your muscles.
- Third class in powerlifting, based on Soviet grading system is a threshold, passing which life changes (question of months, maybe a year). You get more respect from men and curiosity from women, and you get more confident, because you got stronger: https://www.sportscategory.info/en/powerlifting
- As your shoulders get broader, fat fat percentage goes down - it improves your appearance -> your confidence -> helps as well.
[b] Dance venue is a great place to meet people and address your fears / issues. Rule of the game - during the class before the social part teacher makes you switch partners => you will be forced to introduce yourself to the partner, this person cannot turn away and will need to reply, introduce themselves.
Later when social part starts - people switch partners every dance =>
- you start with inviting for a dance people whom you already met during the introductory class.
- In 3 hours of social dancing you dance with 20+ people
- As your skill grows (question of weeks-months) and dancing with you is not torture anymore, but quite the opposite - it is enjoyable => you get more relaxed, people want to dance with you => conversations start all the time
- In dancing, as a man you lead, and this transfers to other activities (helped to become a lecturer teacher in University), but you also better lead the conversation. I.e. it is not a random exchange of information anymore, but you can vary it's direction and emotional component.
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[3] Some places are better than others.
It is good to go to the gym, to get more friends, but not directly. I do not like talking to people in the gym, I suspect that other people as well.
you are recovering between sets, focussing on the audiobook, moving weights - you are always busy with something. I also heard that women do not like talking to men in the gym as they may feel "no in the best form", i.e. for her - talking to men feels comfortable, when she took shower, picked a cloths that fits her, not when she is sweaty, struggling with weights and sees other ladies in the gym who are more fit.
Places like:
- climbing gym <- very social activity where you solve same problems - trying to climb a route. You can just tell someone who struggled to climb a bouldering problem something like: "Nice!", "Good job!", "Well done", and ask for a tip.
Ot if you already climbed it - give a tip yourself. These are natural openers.
If you climb similar level of problem, you will get stack in the gym in the same spots, taking a break between tries - universe will force you to talk and socialize.
- Dance venue, as I mentioned above
- Hikes
- any types of group classes: scuba diving, wine tasting, art classes, etc will do the job quite well
If standard approach does not work => time to learn how to work hard:
[1] For every position you look for people at LinkedIn in that company. If you are already connected ask for referral.
[2] If not, look for common connections that can introduce you.
[3] If there is none => send request for adding everyone from the company to the friends.
[4] Message everyone, inviting for a coffee or virtual chat to learn about the company.
[5] If you believe that you are a good fit => say this.
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And you spend first 4 hours of every day messaging, messaging, messaging. The response rate will be low. But you need only one job.
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And if you do it for 6 months every day, there is no way you will not get many interviews.
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Every interview you fail => you extensively study to address limitations of your skillset.
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Basically, there is no: "I have a degree, hence I deserve a job", but there is: "hard work is the goal".
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P.S. Somehow blog post reminds me why online dating is not working that well for men. Competition is enormous, the number of ladies is limited and things like: "I am an average man, hence I deserve attention from ladies" does not work as well
> They wanted it. They paid for it. They enjoyed it.
The counter example is open-source software.
If we talk about popular packages:
- people want it
- people enjoy it
- people do not pay for that
But force-feeding with strict licenses like Ultralytics does works. Yes, it is force-feeding, but noone wants to pay the price, unless there is no other choice.
Steps:
[1] Add pre-commit hook
[2] Write design doc as mdc file to .cursor/rules
[3] Iterate on design doc till it describes what I want
[4] Ask to write the code
[5] Where possible - extend the test suite.
[6] On every commit check that pre-commit hook checks and tests pass
[7] On every bug extend the test suite
[8] Write as many as possible custom pre-commit hooks
[9] Add extensive docstrings to the complex code -> adds extra context to the LLM
[10] Iterate
[11] From time to time ask to verify that design doc is up to date
I am all for intuitive interfaces, but I am also a big proponent of learning hot keys in every program I work with.
It would be better for design to be intuitive, but you struggle only the first time, while interfaces overloaded with information will take some of your attention every time you look at them
Interesting representation. Not rows in the database as samples and columns as features, but a whole graph.
Makes training much more flexible, and fine tuning as well. Now, when a new data in terms of samples or new tables are connected to the olds ones you just extend the existing graph, without changing its existing morphology much.
Although it is unclear if it is scientific: "Look how cool we can do" or business result: "Look how much value do we get from this representation"
Systematic, efficient.
Played this game myself. And I did it when moved to the US with a limited English and lack of understanding of the local culture and traditions.
After a few years of dedicated practice, moved me from the state that author describes to the complete lack of fear talking to strangers, I can easily make nearly ever conversation warmer, deeper and more relaxed.
------
A couple more comments, based on personal experience:
[1] It works better if place where you meet is your deep comfort zone, a very familiar place
- gym, if you are going there for some time, know where each type of equipment is. - dance venue that you were going dancing for a while - art class - etc
[2] It helps a lot if you are quite proficient in the activity, expertise brings respect, and higher social status by itself, even when you do not talk to anyone.
[a] in the gym ideal technique > strength > looks / size of your muscles.
- Third class in powerlifting, based on Soviet grading system is a threshold, passing which life changes (question of months, maybe a year). You get more respect from men and curiosity from women, and you get more confident, because you got stronger: https://www.sportscategory.info/en/powerlifting - As your shoulders get broader, fat fat percentage goes down - it improves your appearance -> your confidence -> helps as well.
[b] Dance venue is a great place to meet people and address your fears / issues. Rule of the game - during the class before the social part teacher makes you switch partners => you will be forced to introduce yourself to the partner, this person cannot turn away and will need to reply, introduce themselves.
Later when social part starts - people switch partners every dance => - you start with inviting for a dance people whom you already met during the introductory class. - In 3 hours of social dancing you dance with 20+ people - As your skill grows (question of weeks-months) and dancing with you is not torture anymore, but quite the opposite - it is enjoyable => you get more relaxed, people want to dance with you => conversations start all the time - In dancing, as a man you lead, and this transfers to other activities (helped to become a lecturer teacher in University), but you also better lead the conversation. I.e. it is not a random exchange of information anymore, but you can vary it's direction and emotional component.
--- [3] Some places are better than others.
It is good to go to the gym, to get more friends, but not directly. I do not like talking to people in the gym, I suspect that other people as well.
you are recovering between sets, focussing on the audiobook, moving weights - you are always busy with something. I also heard that women do not like talking to men in the gym as they may feel "no in the best form", i.e. for her - talking to men feels comfortable, when she took shower, picked a cloths that fits her, not when she is sweaty, struggling with weights and sees other ladies in the gym who are more fit.
Places like:
- climbing gym <- very social activity where you solve same problems - trying to climb a route. You can just tell someone who struggled to climb a bouldering problem something like: "Nice!", "Good job!", "Well done", and ask for a tip.
Ot if you already climbed it - give a tip yourself. These are natural openers.
If you climb similar level of problem, you will get stack in the gym in the same spots, taking a break between tries - universe will force you to talk and socialize.
- Dance venue, as I mentioned above - Hikes - any types of group classes: scuba diving, wine tasting, art classes, etc will do the job quite well
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